I love beautiful women and cute animals. I also write here when I need to, so be prepared for the occasional literary onslaught about my shitty thoughts. Follow me and love me, please message me with any thoughts, questions, comments, or anything at all.
Blowing a dandelion is basically you helping a weed ejaculate.
I was having a good day. We were all having a good day.
I mean it’s kind of not, seeds aren’t analogous to sperm, hell, pollen isn’t analogous to sperm, plants don’t do dimorphic gametes like that. a better analogy would be firing a couple dozen fully-formed babies from a tshirt cannon
“Restless through the night, swimming legs in empty beds, no skin there to touch.”
Daily Haiku on Love by Tyler Knott Gregson
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Chasers of the Light & All The Words Are Yours are Out Now!
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#tylerknott #tylerknottgregson
I always say that I’ll likely never get married. I hate the history of a bride (or groom) being given to her/his husband (or wife), and I think the social sentiment is generally outdated and unnecessary. And that I don’t want kids. Quite honestly, there is some truth to that - kids scare me. I’m pretty fucked up, and I don’t want to pass that on. But today, I realized that’s all bullshit, to an extent.
It isn’t that I don’t want kids. Or that I don’t want to get married. It’s that I don’t want to do either of those things when my family has chosen to refuse to know someone I choose to love. It’s that I can’t imagine actually telling my family that I’m bi. It’s that this world is so fucking horrible, that I don’t want to do anything in it but exist.
@randomdaisy dear herbologist what the fok is this corn dog plant
OH MY GOODNESS I SAW THIS ON TWITTER AND I WAS LIKE “OH NO…. DUDE… DUDE NO”
this plant is, in fact, a cattail (Typha genus, probably either Typha latifolia or Typha angustifolia). what’s ironic about this person’s encounter is that almost every single part of the cattail is edible– the rhizomes are starchy and, although tough, can be made into a nutritious flour; the stems can be peeled and used like asparagus; the pollen can be gathered and used to extend or supplement flour; and even the green flower spikes can be boiled and eaten like corn-on-the-cob, so this person sort of had the right idea.
the thing is, what this person has in their photo is a BROWN flower spike, meaning that it’s starting to go to seed and is probably a tasteless mouthful of either fiber or fluff. regardless of whether the post is a joke or serious, out of all the edible parts of the cattail, op managed to pick one of the ONLY parts of the plant that isn’t. and i still can’t get over that.
As a side note, rubbing that part of the plant makes an absolutely ridiculous amount of fluff come out (which is how it disperses the seeds). I highly recommend it but it’s probably best to do that when no one else is around
are you saying i can jack off this plant and it will nut
